Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Part 5: Oblivion At The Door

Post By ag Wed Jun 21, 2006 at 12:29:04 pm EDT	Subject Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Part 5: Oblivion At The Door Originally All Right. Time to get serious about the PV. Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Repost Thread	In Reply To ag Wed Jun 21, 2006 at 11:42:25 am EDT

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1459 BC, the gleaming spires of Ancient Atlantis, where Aaron, Lord of Atlantis and Chronic, lord of dead guitar players (well, not their lord but anyway) stand just outside the legendary city and gaze up at the massive golden Spork. The strange machine dwarfs the fabled city.
“This must be the strange Vibrational Spork we must guard.” Aaron states as his auburn hair and blue cape blow in the wind.
“Mmhmm.” Chronic agreed with no interest at all as he slouched down on a rock with his guitar Steve.
“My Lord! You’re alright!” a oriental woman exclaimed.
“Lady Chain-An! It give my heart joy that you’re safe!”
The hugged. Another of Aaron’s subjects spoke up, “Lord Aaron! What is this strange tower in the middle of the city?”
“Ah Chak-Ka-Kaun it is called a Vibrational Spork. A man called the Lurker has placed it here to guard us.”
“My Lord it sits both inside and outside the buildings! It just passes through them without giving it harm.”
“Yes, it is filled not with magic but a strange thing called science. It might be greater then my magic!”
From his hiding place the evil Kulldechak observes all this. “So Aaron has found greater magic? I swear I will make it mine!”
Back with Chronic there’s a flash of light. Then a man in green and white with a End is Near sign appeared.
“Where am I now? I needed to warn the heroes about the Crisis!”
The dead guitar player has strolled off by himself and found the newcomer, “Hey. Who the ^&%$ are you?”
“I’m Soothsayer! You’ve got to warn people! The end of the world is coming!”
Chronic inclines an ear to his guitar Steve, “What’s that? Heh. Might be fun. Hey Sad boy want to hear some music?”
“What? No, you need to warn…what are you doing? Ha ha.. DON’T! P..hehe…please! NoohohohohahahahaHAHAHAHA!”
As Chronic played a simple tune on his guitar the guts of the dead villain Moodswing resonated out towards Soothsayer, making him laugh so hard it hurt.
“What transpires here?” Aaron asked as he and his subjects arrived on the scene.
“Magic guy! Don’t stop my fun now! I’m just tearing it up!” the song shifts from a happy tune to a crazy speed metal tune. Fear grips all the people including Aaron.
“BY JZONNY BRAAVO! GET AWAY MONSTER!” Aaron sends out all kinds of spells as strange triangles and circles form from his spells. Chronic dives out of the way only to see a young girl of thirteen staring at him. She points to her ears. “Ear plugs.” She explains then socks Chronic in the jaw. He falls to the ground, out cold.
“Kyra! Daughter! Are you alright?” Aaron asked.
“Yes father. A man appeared in a form of light and gave these to me. He told me what to do.”
A blaze of light bathed Chronic’s unconscious form. When it stopped he was gone.
“Where did he go?” Lady Chain-An asked.

Total blackness. Chronic stands there with Steve and looks around but there’s nothing to see.
A voice speaks to him from everywhere, “Chronic. It is time! I need you!”
“Your voice… it’s like ice! But I don’t need you loser! Come out of hiding. I’m tired of being your puppet Cowled Criminal! Yours or any one else’s!”
“Fool! How can you be a puppet with no arms?”
Chronic’s arms are gone and Steve falls helplessly to the floor.
“You rebel again and again but where does it get you?”
Chronic’s body starts to convulse. He feels the urge inside for more pot. The drugs are calling him but with no lungs he cant breathe them in anyway. All he can do is twitch uncontrollably on the ground. A moment ago he was dead, but now that never happened. He was alive but armless, lungless and in a complete non stop withdrawal fit. He didn’t know which was worse, not being able to breathe or not getting the drugs again. He knew however that death was very welcome. After all, he knew death and it wasn’t so bad.
“Oh no Chronic. It wont be that easy. I retconned your death. You’re alive now and always have been. I wont let you get away with death this time junkie. Now you’ll endure in this state forever. Serve me or exist like this. Answer now!”
“Y… yes…” he rasps as his teeth rattle with the spasm.
Chronic is suddenly no longer suffering from withdrawals. His arms are back and so are his lungs. He is alive and not a ghost.
“Very good. Now let me tell you what you’ll get by serving me well. You will remain alive and get worlds to call your own. Worlds to control and play with. You and Steve will have worlds to… entertain with your music.”
“Sounds like a party.” Chronic responded.

The Hexagonal ship of the Lurker, where a child of fifteen sits in a clear bubble. Machines feed into the bubble and the Lurker sits, reading the machines. On a view screen we see an image of Fluffy, his destroyed robotic Rabbit servant.
“Sometimes I wish Fluffy was still here. It would be nice to share my fears and worries with him. Child you are an enigma.”
Young Greg Dean, last survivor of the Future Earth, replied, “What is it Master Lurker?”
“Within you is both positive story matter and negative no-story matter. When your father Andy Dean sent you through the vortex it altered you. You are an anomaly. If only I knew how you can help us. What is the point of this?”
Humdinger walked into the chamber and says, “Master Lurker we lost Chronic. The Cowled Criminal has him now.”
“I know. I am the one who sent that hologram recording with some earplugs to Kyra of Atlantis. I knew I could count on her, after all she becomes later in her life. As for Chronic we’ll have to forgo that avenue and go with another. Bring me the new Power Rod’s file.”

Back in Ancient Atlantis Lord Aaron and his people are gathered around Soothsayer.
“That fool almost killed you. I’m glad we stopped him. Stranger are you well?” Aaron asked.
“No. I’m not. I thank your daughter for her timely assist but that man’s power is not what hurts me. I’m not from this world but another. The first to die. A terrible destructive force is eating away at the Multiverse! You must try to escape!”
“Leave fair Atlantis? Nonsense! She will forever stand against the earthquakes and waves. I’m sure her gleaming spires will outlast even me.”
“Lord Aaron! Look at the sky!” someone shouted.
“By the mighty brain of Dextar! What is that?” Aaron wondered.
“No! Not here too! It’s over! You’re all going to die!” Soothsayer panicked.
The reddish purple sky was vanishing into a plaid wall. The Plaid Wall of Entropy had come to the Parodyverse.

Crisis on Infinite Parodyverses Part 5: Oblivion At The Door

October 12th, 2004
Now.
Paradopolis
Not an alternate reality. Not a dream world. The real deal. The universe of all your stories, past and present.
People run in panic. Earths heroes stand defiant as they look up at the Plaid Wall of Anti-Story high in the sky.
On the street we see Jackie Rabbit, Jack Rabbit, Wormlad, Wormbait, Desert Rose, Frogman, Kid Produce, L’il Buttie, Eli the Elemental and Hat Kid.
In the air we see Fin Fang Foom, Thunderstroke, the Golden Age Pigeonman and Pigeonwoman, Shazana Pel, Alcheman and Horizon.

“If this is a joke Pigeonwoman, I’m not laughing!” Michael Wooster, the recently returned from oblivion hero known as Alcheman said to the semi-retired hero. “I come back from dieing only to find the Armageddon upon us!”
“I feel the same way Alcheman but you must remember to keep a clear head. I realize you’re new to the hero business but my husband and I have been doing this sort of thing since the ‘40’s, more or less. We always pull through and today won’t be any different. That’s why we came out of retirement, huh darling?”
“Right you are my love! We’ve sure seen our fair share of it. First back in Ancient Egypt with the World Guardians, then in the 40’s with the Lair Society and now with the JBH. This is just another walk in the park.” Pigeonman replied.
Jackie Rabbit, acting field leader of the JBH, speaks into her wrist communicator, “I wish we all could be so confidant Pigeonman. Eli, separate the civilians from us! We need some room!”
“Not a difficult take Jackie Rabbit!” Eli, the elemental creature responded as he mentally pulled rock up to form a barrier.
Desert Rose held her glowing sentient Scimitar, Areei, and asked, “What use is Areei against a threat like this?”
“Maybe none but we need you Rose!” Jackie replied then spoke into the wrist communicator, “Rally the JBH, New Battlers and other nearby heroes. We need to keep down the panic!”
“What if WE panic L’il Buttie? Boy Wonder disappeared and now this! I’m just a fat kid who eats too much! I don’t have any powers like Hatman!”
“Calm down and focus Hat Kid! All we can do is be brave!” the teen butler coached him.

As a tenement crumbles Jack Rabbit and Frogman leap out, each carrying three scared people.
“Well Froggy, we’re at it again! Leaping head first into a mess.”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way Jack. Good to have you back!”
They deposited the people to the waiting arms of the firemen.
“Good to be back! Shall we Kermit?”
“After you Bugs.”
Alcheman had formed into a steel girder system and was formed on the side of another crumbling tenement building, acting as a support system. “I could use some help here! There are still people inside!”
“No problem dude! I got them!” Thunderstroke said while flying out of the building with two people.
“Just a minute longer!” Horizon exclaimed as he flew his ionic form into a window. He helped a frightened little girl out from under her bed and into his energy arms. When Horizon flew her to the ground he shouted, “All clear Alcheman!”
As the building toppled to the ground John Kensington (Horizon) said to Alcheman, “It’s a shame the Yurt lost control again and SPUD (the Super-menace Principal Undercover Directorate) locked him up. We could’ve used his power today!”

Pigeonman and Pigeonwoman reached out to the people in the skyscraper. The strange plaid wall of entropy destroyed floor after floor and the people couldn’t get out fast enough.
Shazana Pel flies in and grabs a woman’s arms.
“Do you have things ok Shazana?” Pigeonwoman asked.
“Yes. May I ask you a question?” Shazana queried as both winged women flew their people down to the ground.
“Of course Shazana. I have a question for you too. You first.”
“You and your mate dress like the wingmen of my planet. Is this a tribute to them?”
“Of course. My husband met one of your people back in Ancient Egypt.”
“Well you should know you both honor my people by the acts you do today.”
“Thank you. If it’s alright can I ask about Car-Tar and Shy-Ra Hool? Did they make it out before your world was destroyed?”
Pigeonwoman’s husband, Carl, was flying three people down beside the flying women. He listened in closely because despite their constant feuds, both Pigeonmen respected each other greatly.”
“No. I’m afraid they didn’t make it.” Shazana said flatly, trying to not think of her friend’s deaths.
As they silently placed their passengers on the solid pavement Shazana Pel looked up to the vanishing skyline.
“I wonder,” she said aloud, “Is it just here or are the Thonggarian refugees … my people, are they dead because of this?”

As buildings fall Wormlad, Wormbait , Desert Rose and Kid Produce are carrying people from the wreckage. The Worm Twins are supporting a worn out Ivan Strode. Desert Rose has teenage trouble making mutate Fly-Girl while Kid Produce has her friend Beanni. Cody Harper runs along side them.
Several orphans scream as Lisette and Reverend Mac Fleetwood try to keep them calm.
A child falls from a two story window. Szandor Anton, the Makluan/demon/human hybrid swooped down and saved the sobbing child.

Twenty-one year old millionaire (and grandson of Pigeonman and Pigeonwoman) Hector Richmond tried to shield Annie and Jane from a falling building.
“NO! HECTOR!” Shelly Hallow, the Golden Age Pigeonwoman screams as she swoops down to save her grandson and the other two women. She managed to push the three out of the way as the building covered her completely.
“SHELLY!” Carl Hallow, the Golden Age Pigeonman, screamed his wife’s name as he landed carried a battered Tina Cabanez to the ground. He handed Tina to a rescue worker and started for the rubble.
Hector Richmond joined in. The men worked franticly as the other heroes present were all distracted and did not see what was going on.
When Carl finally uncovered his wife it was too late. As he cradled her limp body in his arms he screamed to the heavens. Hector put his face in his hand in grief for the grandmother he never knew.

The other heroes gather a ways off. Jackie wants to grieve for her friend but she knows there simply is no time. Her brother Jack tried to put his arm around her as Desert Rose, Kid Produce, Horizon, Eli, Alcheman, Frogman, Thunderstroke, Wormlad, Wormbait, L’il Buttie and Hat Kid all arrived.
She pushed his arm away, “No. There’s no time to think about it. We need to think of something that can stop that wall! We have to stop this destruction! Any ideas people?”
Shazana Pel is still in the sky next to Fin Fang Foom. All she can think about is that her people, the Thonggarians, might be already dead. “Only one Jackie Rabbit! We fight, we die! We kill whoever’s doing this!”
She charged the Anti-Story wall but before she attacks and could get swallowed up Finny grabbed her and held her tight.
“Hold on! That’s not going to help!”
“You don’t understand Makluan! You don’t know what it’s like to loose a world!”
Finny, “Believe me I do!”

Frogman is looking through his small binoculars at the scene, “Finny stopped her but she sure is upset!”
“I don’t blame her. We’re all upset. We’ve got to control this! We… John?” Jackie is interrupted as John Swiftman, the JBHer known as Swift, appears before the heroes. His body is covered in a strange aura that seems to be pulling him apart.
“Jackie? Jasper? Help!” Swift reaches his arm out to the hero closest which happens to be Japer, the hero known as Kid Produce.
Jasper reaches out to save his friend.
Years of training his super hearing and increased sense of smell caused Jack Rabbit to stand alert. “NO JASPER! IT’S NOT RIGHT!” He springs into action plowing his team mate to the ground.
“HEEEEEELLP MEEEE!” Swift called out before his body pulled apart and vanished.
The collected heroes looked on with shocked expressions.

The Lurker’s ship, where he gases into a machine, trying to create something.
Humdinger stands there, cold, aloof, “The Anti-Story wall has come to this Earth as well.”
“I haven’t completed the arrangements for the new Power Rod.” The Lurker replied without looking up from his instruments, “I feel my foe growing in power while I get weaker. There must be some way to counter the Cowled Criminal’s plans. Unless... unless…”
Humdinger flies off and out of the ship.

Blackness surrounds Humdinger. A simple window shows the Plaid wall touching the Earth.
“Humdinger, speak to me now.” The Cowled Criminal’s voice rang out.
“The Lurker has implemented his plans although all his warriors are not ready.”
The Criminal responded with anger, “The Lurker will fall and then the Hood! I steal your master’s strength and mine grows! His champions are doomed as I pit one against the other! I have captured the heroes who could travel through the universes unheeded, confounded the one who travels through time and kept those whom the Hood holds dear. The Lurker will fall at my command then soon after the Hooded Hood will fall. Only after I’ve taken everything from him however. I want the Hood to suffer for what he did to me! Go, there is work to be done!”
She leaves

As she flies through space the Lurker’s voice is heard, “I raised you from childhood yet I knew how it would all end. You were lost and I instilled hope within you. Find that hope, call on it for the darkest hours are on the way.”

The flying robotic skull like ship of Brainattack, where a machine that looks like a man sits, plugged into his ship from all over his robotic body.
That body resembles Visionary, only more machine like.
He speaks in a flat robotic sinister tone, “I did not capture the one called Visionary 3, replace his central processing unit with my more advanced one, then begin the improvements to his shell only to become terminated by this wave of entropy invading this universe. To. To save myself is my prime directive and to do that I need assistance on earth. I must get the help of one prepared, one cunning, one powerful enough to exploit! I must get Count Armageddon.”

The Shattered Worlds, in-between nothing and everything sits six earths, hidden from the rest of reality. Today however they hide no more as Anti-Story dissolves the streets of each Earth, including the new Shattered World, Earth Tricky.
“Wendy! JOE” Dancer called out as PsychoAcidPervGirl! And her husband ManMan both dissolve within the Plaid Wall.
“Watch out Sarah!” Wangmundo yelled as he grabbed the Probability Dancer and flipped her out of the oncoming Entropy Wall.
“They died! Their gone!”
“Yes and so will the rest of us if we don’t fall back!” Hatman, the leader and senior living member of the Lair Legion replied as he, Nats and Amazing Guy flew away from the Plaid Wall. AG was duplicating energy manipulation powers to carry several survivors in a bubble away from the destructive wall.

“Hey! AG, Hatman, Legion! We’re here to help!” Access called out as Captain Marbles flew them closer.
“Access you’re back! Great! How can we stop this thing? We just lost two good people!” Hatman exclaimed in frustration.
“We can’t but the Lurker is working on it.”
”He’d better work fast or there won’t be any Shattered Worlds lift to save!” Nats warned.
“Excuse me but can you tell me how things are going on Parodyverse Prime?” Tom Irving, Amazing Guy, asked.
“The same as here. The Plaid Wall has arrived. The Scott Brunsen Amazing Guy was abducted by the enemy along with several other heroes and everything is falling apart.”
“Great, so the whole Multiverse is going to pot.” Tom replied.
“Listen, Tom, Cap Marbles, the Lurker wanted the two of you to know something.” Access said. “Captain, the reason you are in the current era and Tom the reason you and Scott have swapped in resent years all amounts to the same thing. The Lurker was trying to confuse the enemy and keep him away from the Scott Brunsen AG. For some reason he thinks Scott will be instrumental to the final battle.”
“Wait. So if Scott’s so important and I’m just some stupid decoy what’s your boss going to do now that Scott has been captured?”
“I don’t know but your not a stupid decoy. Tom there is a purpose to your life. I don’t know what the Lurker has planed but…”
“Enough of this!” Nats blurted out, “If this Lurker person is so *(&^ great why the hell are we dying?”
Access tried to calm the heroes, “He was also responsible for bringing your Earth into the Shattered Worlds. He’s trying to hide it.”
Hatman motioned to the slowly dissolving city, “He’s not doing too good a job at it, is he?”

1944, a world at war! In the small nation of Bovoria there’s a turf war going on.
The villagers try to hide in their snow capped small European houses and shops as United States soldiers press on into the village. Two regiments join together to try to stop a platoon of Nazi soldiers and their leader, Baron Heinrich Zemo, from taking possession of the strange golden tower that stands in the midst of the town.
The falling snow doesn’t help things at all.
“COME ON YOU GOLD BRICKIN (*&^!! Keep them on the defensive!” Sergeant Dan Drury shouted as his men, the Howlin' Joes of Sleazy Company as they charged.
“Sarge what is that thing?” Wild Dummy Doogan asked Drury.
“What do I look like Wild Dum? A librarian? I’ve never seen that thing before in my life but I know one thing, this man’s army isn’t going to let the Ratzis get their stinkin paws on it!”

At the base of the giant Vibrational Spork Zemo and his Nazis fire at the oncoming soldiers.
“Her Baron! The americanders are closing in!”
“Well keep at it swine! This strange device will belong to the Fatherland!” Baron Heinrich Zemo pronounced.
Dr Vishnar, Zemo’s favorite scientist, examines the base of the Vibrational Spork, “This is fascinating! I’ve never seen technology like this! They must stall for more time!”

LT. Jason Stuart drove his strange Spooky Jeep up the hill towards the battlefield. His fellow battalion flanked him.
“Lieutenant Stuart what is that thing?” Corporal Clancy, one of his men asked.
“If I knew that Clancy I’d be a general. All I know is that’s Drury and his men fighting and we need to back them up!”
The ghost of Civil War General Henry Dewdrop Stuart appeared in the back seat of this haunted jeep as he often does, giving guidance to his descendant Jason, “Soldiers die in war from enemies of our own but today soldiers will fall from that which is not known.”
“Great grandfather I wish I understood. What soldiers? Who is going to die?”

Two heroes charge through the constantly falling snow towards the same goal as the others.
“This is Bovoria! I read about it! It’s ruled by Thighmaster.” Captain Courageous explained.
“Don’t you mean WILL be ruled by Thighmaster? This is World War II! Old Thigh-guy hasn’t even been born yet!” De Brown Streak explained as he sped away.
“What are you going to do?” Kip Kipling, the British hero known as Captain Courageous asked. “Don’t get involved! We have to guard the Spork!”
It was too late though as the Sepia Speedster was already bowling down Nazis at high speeds.

As DBS sped through some Nazis he saluted Sgt. Drury and his men. “Drury you son of a &*^! I knew you were old but I didn’t know you were THAT old!”
He sped off leaving Drury to ask, “What the &*^% was that all about?”
“You know him Sergeant?” the large, hairy Lt. Wild Dummy Doogan wondered.
“Never seem him in my life! Must be one of those GAMS characters. &*^% mystery men think they own the world! Wish they’d stay stateside and protect the home front like FDR told ‘em instead of getting in our way. &*^% GAMS!”
“But Sergeant, you’re friends with American Joe and he was one of them GAMS.”
“Yeah but he disappeared and the ones left ain’t worth a plug nickel! Now stop jawing in my ear AND GET YOUR *(&^% ASS MOVING SOLIDER!”

“Hey yank! Stop fighting the Nazis and come on! We’ve got to protect the Spork!” Captain Courageous called out to his fellow displaced hero. He was using the Serious Matter Man-at-Arms Serum within him to lift some Nazis and throw them into a wall.
De Brown Streak had stopped speeding and was helping up a flower lady from the ground. “Just a minute.” He didn’t see the Nazi soldier aiming his rifle at him.
Lt. Percy Wooster has always had the nickname of Rosebud because of his penchant for planting roses on the battlefield. That doesn’t make him weak as his commander, Sgt. Drury, has already given him a metal of honor. It’s his eagle eyes that spotted the strange mystery man’s flight. With a CRACK from his rifle the Nazi soldier fell to the ground.
“He was going to shoot me! Thanks!” Josh Clement, DBS, says in shock. “Thanks soldier!”
“Anytime mystery man!” Rosebud replied as he bent down and placed a single rose near the fallen Nazi. “There’s too much death in this war. Someone needs to show a little life.”

“Are you finished yet Her Vishnar? The costumed cretins are now here! Soon that fool Hatman will arrive!”
A voice rings out, “Correction Zemo! I’m already here!”
He is Hatman, not the one from the Lair Legion but the Golden Age one. A hero whom prefers to fight the Nazis on their home turf with his trick hat wear. He throws a razor sharp fedora into two of Zemo’s personal soldiers then flips into the forefront, kicking and punching his way to his arch enemy.
“Times up Vishnar! We’re leaving!” Zemo called out as Hatman fights his way closer.
“Sgt. Drury! It’s another of those GAMS boys!”
“Don’t talk, do something!” Drury bites a grenade pin and throws the grenade towards the base of the Spork. The Lurker’s machine isn’t bothered by the explosion but the Nazi solders guarding it are.
As Drury and his Howlin' Joes of Sleazy Company charge Lt. Jason Stuart and his strange Spooky Jeep patrol move in right beside them.
“Still talking to ghosts Lieutenant?”
“Hasn’t steered me wrong yet Drury!”
Drury then led the charge, “COME ON YOU ^%$# SONS OF &^&%$! HIT ‘EM HARD!”

As Hatman decks a Nazi something passed by the corner of his eye. “What the heck was that?”
He received his answer as a Shadow Demon touched his left shoulder.
“ARRRGGH!” He screamed as it burned him. He fell to the ground as more Shadow Demons attack the Nazis, causing them to discorporate.
“What’s happening to them?” Hatman wondered aloud as he stared slack jawed at the men’s sudden death.
Zemo and Vishnar didn’t wait to find out as they wasted no time fleeing into the near by forest.

The men of Sleazy Company fire into the Shadow Demons with no effect. The soldiers start to get picked off one by one.
Rosebud fades out as a shadow creatures goes through him.
“ROSEBUD!” Sgt. Drury yells as he fires through the creature. It was about to kill him too but Lt. Jason Stuart knocks him to the ground. ““DRURY WATCH OUT!”
Drury looks up at the chaos and exclaimed, “He disappeared! That don’t happen in war!”
“Nothing makes since in war, you know that Drury!” Stuart said.

“Finally! Things I can understand!” De Brown Streak said while speeding in a circle around some of the Shadow Creatures. The wind shattered them.
“I suppose this is what we’re protecting the Spork from!” Captain Courageous said while throwing debree at a shadow creature.
“You think?” Josh replied sarcastically as he sped around the on coming creatures.
“No need to get catty with me bloke! I didn’t ask to work with an outlaw!”
“Tell you what Brit. Lets beat these things, THEN I’ll beat you!”
The two remained quiet from that point as they tried to fight off the creatures.
Overhead the high flying custom black planes of the international air strike team, the DarkHwks flew over to prepare an air strike.

The Negativity Zone, where fleets of Insect ships ready on the fringes.
“My subjects! Soon the barrier between our home and Earth will be at it’s weakest!” Lord Anihillatus tells his assembled armies, “At my word we shall attack!”
“What if that word is ‘Ouch’?” a young male voice asked.
“NO! NOT THEM!” Anihillatus complained.
They stood there ready to do that which they’ve been doing for years.
Weed Writchards, aka Prof, super scientific genius and robot creator. Leader and chief explorer/scientist.
Kate Frost Writchards, aka Mist, daring wife to Weed and second in command of the team.
Jacky Frost, aka Frosty, her kid brother and the owner of the young challenging voice.
And finally, the large, bumpy, lard like Brick Laird, aka Lump, best friend to Weed and original pilot to Weed’s exploratory trip through sub space.
Together they are the Four Challengers of the Fantastic Unknown and they’ve been trapped here in the Negativity Zone for a long while. Thanks to the mutations caused by their trip through sub space years ago they age very slowly.
All the better for them to hone their powers however.
“IT’S BUTT KICKING TIME!” Lump yelled as he charged his bulky frame towards Anihillatus’ forces, throwing them everywhere.
“FREEZE OVER!” Frosty yells as he turns his body to ice then slides on his ice slide, freezing several warriors.
“There sure are a lot of them Weed! Think we’ll be able to stop them all?” Mist asked her husband as she turned her body into an intangible ghostlike form that the warriors lasers passed through.
The Prof stretches his plant form around several warriors and smashes them into each other. His weed like plant body resists their lasers. “I postulate that we have a 100% chance of subduing them Kate darling. After all, it’s our full function. As explorers we’ve always Challenged the Unknown with our Fantastic Foursome.”
“You got that right Weedo!” Lump replied as he crunched his eight fat fingers into the ground, then ripped it up, knocking many warriors off their strange bug like legs. “Sure, I hate being stuck in this dump of a Zone all this time, but at least theirs been plenty of bugs to squash!”
“Aw come on Brick!” Frosty pointed out as he froze more bug warriors, “You’ve always wined about being stuck here! Heck, the first thing I want to do when we finally get home is pick up some sweet mamas and party all night!”
“Oh Jacky, you’re incorrigible!” his sister shot back as she passed her ghostly arm through a warrior, spazing him out to unconsciousness.
The Prof stretched his vine-like body around Anihillatus as the Lord of the Negativity Zone snarled at them. “This isn’t the end Writchards! There’s a Crisis going on in the positive universe and I plan to exploit it!”
“You can try Anihillatus but the Four Challengers of the Fantastic Unknown will always be there to stop you!”

The Cowled Criminal’s citadel at the end of time.
Humdinger stands next to the Spaced Fandom and looks at a large glowing square box. Inside they see Amazing Guy (Scott Brunsen),
Goldeneyed, Azule-Arach, Swift and the long lost hero Shifter all shackled up with energy chains.
“The master… er… er captured these because they have the power to traverse through space or through other universes. The box cancels out their powers …ers …ers!”

They walk through the total darkness a little further until they come across a cage made of Serious Matter. Within it lies two brightly colored heroes, the LuminousLudicrousKineticKid! and CrazySugarFreakBoy!
“I was wondering when you’d betray the Lurker Humdinger! I knew that if the Crisis is happening then you would HAVE to betray him.” CSFB! explained with his weakened voice.
“I do what I have to do Trickster. It isn’t any of your business!”
“I think my younger self is right!” LLKK! replied. “You don’t have to do this! Resist the story! Be true to your self!”
“Be silent or I’ll kill Dreamcatcher and then he would never have evolved into you!”
Before LLKK! could debate the potentials of alternate timelines Spaced Fandom spoke up, “No… o…o! You can not kill CrazySugarFreakBoy! He is here because he’s important to the Hooded Hood! Come! I’ll show you the others!”

She followed the large eyed freak to another cell. This one was simple metal. Within it Lisa Waltz, Troia 215 and spiffy are strapped to the walls. There’s a strange metal muzzle on Lisa’s mouth while the other two have flashing collars around their necks.
“Lisa, Troia and spiffy? I understand two of them but why Hopkins? He’s no longer the Hood’s son.”
A cold voice dripping with evil responded, “I prefer to take no chances. Fandom I need you to return to Earth and capture Dancer. I have been scanning the near future again and it appears she is also important to the Hood. Bring her here.”
“Yesss master… er…er!”

The freaky creature departs, leaving Humdinger with the Cowled Criminal. They walk away from the cell and listening ears.
“Excuse me but if you don’t mind my asking, why are you doing this? Why destroy everything?”
He laughs a deep, evil laugh.
“Why? One man. That’s why!”
An image of the Hooded Hood appeared.
“I have sworn revenge! He has given his attention to his ungrateful children. He has spent time with the ladies of his affection. He has enjoyed a rivalry with the 21st century CrazySugarHero. And most of all he has spent all his power and resources to finding those who sit above the Parodyverse. The REAL creators.”
“Yes, he has done all these things but how does that effect you?”
“That’s my point! It doesn’t! It doesn’t affect me! He doesn’t spent that time with me! He barely recognizes me as a pest! He disregards me in my current guise just as he ignored me, abandoned me as an infant!”
Humdinger’s eyes fly open wide.
“Yes! It was me! I was the Hooded Hood’s love child! I AM HIS SON! And for forgetting me I shall destroy everything he has EVER held dear!”

You might want to check out the footnotes on this one. Sorry they’re so big!

Next up, Jackie Rabbit! Annabelle! Con Jonstantine! Dancer! The Wonderful Seven! The Lair Legion! HairyHoneyBerserkerBarbarian! Yo! Jonah Burch! Cinnamon Shepherdson! Two-Gun Hat! Scalpchopper! LocoQuick-DrawSarsaparillaOutlaw! The Lair Legion of Super Heroes! The World Guardians! Glory!
Ham-Boy! Jarvis! The Den Defenders and the Satireverse! The Shattered Worlds! Samantha Featherstone and the Lair Legion of 2020! Tom Irving Amazing Guy! Captain Marbles! Asil! The Idiom! Eggo!

All as soon as I can.

Papa Don’t Preach Footnotes

A LONG TIME COMING NOTE:
Yes. THAT love child. The Cowled Criminal is the child born from THIS story. The Hooded Hood Chronicles #3: The Hooded Hood Fathered My Love Child

Waaaay back in 17-Nov-1999. The third story ever written by Ian Watson for the board. TOLD you this was a long time coming!

DEAD BUNNIES AREN’T MUCH FUN NOTE:

When the Lurker first appeared he had a robotic servant rabbit called Fluffy. He served the Lurker for a long time until he was captured by the evil Narrator and reprogrammed. He then betrayed the Lurker in the now classic The ManManHunter Agenda, Part 5

He rebelled however and sacrificed himself to save his master and the collected heroes.

YIPPIE! A CROSSOVER NOTE:
Alcheman (Michael Wooster) came back from oblivion in the Crisis crossover The Adventures of Alcheman #14: A Crisis Crossover

Hopefully they’ll be more of them.

BYE BYE BRICKY NOTE:
The Yurt lost control again off panel and is now in the custody of SPUD (the Super-menace Principal Undercover Directorate). His next appearance might be his team up with Mad Wendy in Untold Tales but most likely it’ll be in a future issue of Crisis. Either way his short term with the JBH is over.

PEOPLE IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD NOTE:
Just who were those pedestrians in Paradopolis that the heroes saved?

Ivan Strode is the strange man who gave the tattoos to Michael Wooster which allows him to fight crime as Alcheman.
Cody Harper is the teenage son of Al B. Harper that the scientist doesn’t know he had. Beanni and Fly-Girl are Cody’s friends.
Lisette is the ex-girlfriend of Goldeneyed and mother of his child. At this time period she’s in hiding at the mission ran by Rev. Fleetwood
Reverend Mac Fleetwood runs an orphanage, mission and soup kitchen in Hell’s Kitchen. He’s a popular character and can be seen in the pages of the current Hatman series.
Jane is the ex-girlfriend of Ronnie, friend to Chad.
Annie is the ex-girlfriend of Ben Hermes (Semi-Transparent Lad)
Tina Cabanez is the ex-girlfriend of NTU-150.
Szandor Anton, the Makluan/demon/human hybrid has appeared in Greg’s DK stories.

POISONING PIGEONS IN THE PARK II NOTE:

Pigeonman 1 & Pigeonwoman I: (Carl Hallow AKA Carter Hallmark AKA Ca Hutow and Shelly Hallow AKA Sherry Hallmark AKA Sha Hutow)
1st TRY:
Ca Hutow was an Ancient Egyptsen scientist and a founding member of the World Guardians. It’s members came from all around the ancient Old World to work together to stop villains and monsters alike. He was given their anti gravity metal from a visitor from the planet Thonggar. He called it Flynowha, or to be translated 9th and a half metal.
Ca Hutow went by the heroic name Pigeon Warrior and became a legend along with his mate, Pigeonette. She was Sha Hutow, and the love of his life until the evil priest and wizard Kuu Kuu Ka Chuu killed her at the end of that heroic age.
NEXT RECORDED TRY:
They were reincarnated as Sherry Sandermont and Carter Hallmark at the early part of the 20th century. They met and became husband and wife, as well as archeologists. They found the ancient Pigeon artifacts in Egypt and became Pigeonman and Pigeongirl. He helped form the Lair Society of Justice and they both were members of the All-Star Winners Squadron. They fought crime and Axis spies during the Second World War. After the war they had a daughter but tragically couldn’t raise her as both Carter and Sherry died thanks to a possessed member of the Sons of Set. Kuu Kuu Ka Chuu was the spirit that possessed the cult member. This was towards the end of the Golden Age. Their daughter was raised by a family friend. She grew up, married and had a son named Hector Richmond.
MODERN TRY:
They were then brought back once more, to relive their lives in almost the same way. She was reincarnated as Shelly Hunter. He was reincarnated as Carl Hallow and met her, again. They married and now he is the curator of the Paradopolis Museum. The Pigeon artifacts wound up in his museum. Feeling a since of Deja vu, he uses them to create the guise of Pigeonman. His old adversary and twice killer, Kuu Kuu Ka Chuu, was resurrected in a more powerful form. Pigeonman and Pigeonwoman have fought Kuu Kuu Ka Chuu a few times in the modern era. The last time was along side Trickshot in the deserts of modern Egypt. Kuu Kuu Ka Chuu is now in the guise of Prince Kuthol, the leader of modern Egypt. He’s brought peace to that land and the people have chosen him as their ruler of their own free will, unknowing who he really is. He warned Pigeonman, Pigeonwoman, Trickshot and Desert Rose to never set foot on his land again or he’ll nuke the US. The Pigeons are still trying to find away around that threat.
Recently the grandson, Hector Richmond, has contacted them. Although their daughter is dead, they’ve been able to have a reunion with their grandson. He has inherited his late father’s fortune and taken over the business of model plane making. He is a 21 year old millionaire.
Pigeonman and Pigeonwoman are reserve members of the JBH. They served in the team with the newer Pigeonman (Car-Tar Hool). Both Pigeonmen didn’t get along very well at first but learned to respect each other. Pigeonman also has a love/hate relationship with Trickshot. They cant stand each other on the surface but respect each other on the inside.

This issue marks the end of Shelly Hallow. She’s gone and I have no plans to bring her back. We’re down to one pigeon hero in my personal cast, the widower Carl Hallow, the Golden Age Pigeonman.

THIS ISN’T YOUR FATHER’S VISIONARY NOTE:
First there was Visionary, everybody’s fav fake man.
Then there was Hallie in her sometimes guise as Visionary 2.
Then there was Visionary 3. This Vish was an android helper created by Star-Trekish Labs for Visionary during his stint as President of the U.S (during the Death World Invasion). One day when he was frustrated he told it to “Explore space or something.”
It did and was captured by the robotic menace known as Brainattack. The cybernetic terror disassembled Visionary 3 and fashioned his new body out of the deactivated helper.

SHATTERED EARTHS NOTE (AGAIN):
The Shattered Worlds
Six Earths exiled from the mainstream alternate Earths due to major Earth ruining crimes caused by certain Lair Legionaries. The Triumvirate exiled them, quarantining them from other Earths and barring anyone’s escape from them. The Omni Competent (another version of Mr. Epitome) and the Soloist (another version of Dancer) were both from here. The Soloist is dead while the Omni Competent is on Parodyverse Main.
Earth Tricky, the original home of the Lair Legionnaire Trickshot and current home of Amazing Guy Tom Irving, has been added to these worlds.

Here’s a list of those known to be on these Earths.

Bizarro Epitome’s Earth:
Bizarro Epitome
Joshua, ape with Soloist’s powers
Seven million of those genetically engineered ape soldiers

Earth Tricky:
Hatman (only surviving LL member)
Amazing Guy (Tom Irving)
Nats
ManMan (dead)
Dancer
Wangmundo
PsychoAcidPervGirl! (dead)

DO WE GET A MOVIE, CARTOON AND ACTION FIGURES TOO NOTE:
Professor Weed Writchards is rivaled only by Al B. Harper and Dr. Leonard Day-Vincent in his genius. In fact these three and Jaimie Bautista formed a brain trust for several years, sharing inventions and ideas. Writchards and Day-Vincent used to attend the same colleges.
One day in ’98 Professor Writchards tried to take a fact finding mission to the Negativity Zone. He took along a old college chum and pilot, Brick Laird, to fly the ship. Weed’s fiancée and her kid brother talked him into joining the expedition. Weed goofed up on the shielding and Sub Space Rays blanketed the four, giving them their powers. They crashed back on Earth. Deciding to use their gifts right they became explorers of the mysterious. They fought Skunks, underground monsters and other threats.
Finally Professor Writchards organized a second trip into the Negativity Zone in hopes to remove their powers at Brick’s request. They still had their powers but became stuck their thanks to the evils of Anihillatus.
What’s worse is since Weed left one of his robot doubles in his place, no one knew they’ve been trapped all this time!
Professor Writchards is also famous for his work with robots. His first proto type robotic helpers where the Mechanical Men. Five different colored robots that had distinct personalities. They were finally destroyed during Thugos’ Death World Invasion. Since Weed has been gone no one has recreated them.
After the creation of the Mechanical Men Weed went on to create the sentient urban human-looking robots that are now dubbed Robo-Americans.
Here’s a list of the four explorer/adventurers:
The Four Challengers of the Fantastic Unknown

Prof: Weed Writchards, body is made of super strong, stretchable vine like weeds.
Lump: Brick Laird, lumpy lard like strongman
Frosty: Jacky Frost, Ice powers
Mist: Kate Frost Writchards, intangibility, ghostlike powers.

There next appearance will be in issue #7!

This story is written and copyrighted (C) 2004 by Scott Bryan (also known as AG), and may not be
reprinted without permission. Annabelle, Roland, Anthony Foresight, Amazing Guy, Justin Time, Jack Rabbit, Jackie Rabbit, Desert Rose, Eli the Elemental, Kid Produce, Scott Brunsen, Tom Irving, the JBH and the Amazing Bunch all are properties of Scott Bryan and AG.

a.g.
Amazing Guy

Scott’s Site! Featuring Caption the Pic (where action figures talk!) and Amazing Tales on the Web (stories and micros of the Parodyverse!).

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